Come Over To My Place

Last night, I'd invited Evan over to my place for Thai take-out and a movie.  As you might imagine, we didn't quite make it through all of the movie.

We started out close to each other on the couch, only arms touching.  But as we watched the movie and became more comfortable, it wasn't long before Evan put his arm around me.  I just felt so protected yet enticed at the same time.  Our bodies quickly melted into each other, fitting together snugly like a puzzle.

Then the touching started.  And it was me that initiated it, just gently stroking his forearm.  He soon reciprocated and was rubbing my leg which was draped over his.  All it took was a momentary eye contact with him to launch us into full out kissing. Again, I felt like I just couldn't get enough of it from him.  My breathing quickened and I could feel the adrenaline surging through me.  My eagerness quickly escalated to the point that I almost felt frenzied.  I'd quickly turned myself around and straddled him, both of us sitting up.

We continued to kiss, deeper and with increasing voracity.  Being lost in the moment, I barely noticed as Evan slipped my shirt off over my head.  I quickly did the same with him.  Feeling the warm skin of his chest against mine gave me a thrilling surge of pleasure and I pulled him into me even tighter.  After a short while, I felt my bra come loose as Evan dislodged the clasp.  At first, I was startled, then apprehensive, and I reached to keep myself covered. But Evan had moved down to kiss the side of my neck and I immediately relaxed into it and let my bra slide off.

He moved slowly down my chest.  Each light touch of his lips caused a swell of excitement in me.  By the time he'd reached my breasts, I could barely contain myself.  I'd never felt that level of sensitivity with any sexual activity before.  As he took my right nipple in his mouth, I let out a loud gasp of pleasure, feeling a jolt of intense arousal shoot through me.

But that jolt was enough to awaken and alert me to my reality.  I suddenly felt anxious and  apprehensive. My mind swirled with questions filled with stress. What was I doing?  How could I be doing this with a man?  Was I letting myself be swept up by these circumstances?  Was something else wrong with me that I couldn't control these urges?

Without realizing it, I stopped and pulled away from Evan, still straddling him.  I covered my breasts with my arms, suddenly feeling self-conscious.  Evan looked up at me with a look of concern and slight confusion, "Is everything OK?"

I had no intension of revealing my mindset to him but I also didn't want to hurt his feelings at all.  I explained to him, still slightly out of breath, "I'm really sorry.  I think things are moving a little fast right now.  Would it be OK if we took it a little slower?"

"Of course.  Are you sure everything's OK?  I didn't go over the line or anything."

"No, no, no.  It's just me.  In fact, in all honesty, I'd have loved to keep going.  You were doing everything right.  It's just... I mean... I have... I just need a little more time to adjust to this," I gestured back and forth to him and me.  "I promise you.  You did nothing wrong.  I just need to slow down tonight... for me.  Is that OK?  Please, I hope you're not upset."

"We'll take as much time as you need," Evan said with a caring smile.  "How about we just take it easy for tonight and watch the rest of the movie?  We can just snuggle on the couch.  Without any expectations.  No worries."

I could tell that he really meant it.  "You're a really good guy, you know that?  Thanks for understanding."

We quickly got dressed and cuddled up together on the couch with the remainder of the movie playing out.  However I don't remember a thing about the rest of the movie.  My mind was too consumed by all of my confusing thoughts and feelings.  I wanted Evan more than anything, but was that wrong?  And could these powerful feelings be part of the transformation or was this just a normal female reaction that just seemed overwhelming since it was foreign to me?

I need to get my head straight before cause myself any more trouble than I'm already in.