Frustration

I've been scouring the Internet for some idea of what might have happened to me.  There are plenty of fiction sites and "gender bender" movies and things, all of them related to some kind of magical or sci-fi source of the transformation.  I have yet to find anything real yet though, not even a trace reference to an actual gender transformation, with the exception of transgender people who undergo surgery etc. to get to that point.  I'm going to continue looking though.

Of course, one downside of this kind of search turns out to be there's a lot of adult sites related to this topic.  Don't get me wrong -- I certainly enjoy porn as much as the next guy and have spent my own fair share of time on the Internet just for that.  But even though I'm really trying to be productive and find some way of understanding my predicament, I find that I'm getting aroused seeing all of this stuff.  However it's a different kind of feeling than I'm used to.  It's a warmth that's spreading through my whole body and my skin is sensitive and tingling all over.

Here's the real problem though:  I'm reluctant to do anything about it.  It's ironic.  In going through a lot of the fiction and movies on this gender transformation topic, a repeating theme is that the man turns into woman and soon afterward does something sexual with his new body.  However the reality of it is that I've had so much shock and stress over this that it really hasn't crossed my mind until now.  The other thing is, since my female parts are so new to me, I've been very cautious about touching them or doing anything with them at all.  It was hard enough to get used to peeing for the first while.

So for now, this web crawling is just getting me frustrated.  Firstly because I'm not finding any information to help me out.  And secondly, it's frustrating physically since my arousal keeps building and I'm reluctant to do anything to release it.